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Bartenders logic

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mojoreef

Reef Keeper
Joined
Jul 5, 2003
Messages
7,530
Location
Sumner
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
>>personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they

>>concurred on almost all counts.
>>
>>The results:
>>
>>Drink: Beer
>>Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
>>Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
>>
>>
>>Drink: Blender Drinks
>>Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
>>Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
>>
>>
>>Drink: Mixed Drinks
>>Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste;

>>knows EXACTLY what she wants.
>>Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,
she'll
>>send YOU a drink..............
>>
>>
>>Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
>>Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
>>Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with
>>friends.
>>
>>
>>Drink: White Zinfandel
>>Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she
>>has NO clue.
>>Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy

>>target.
>>
>>
>>Drink: Shots
>>Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
>>totally drunk... and naked.
>>Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing
to
>>do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
>>
>>
>>Drink: Tequila
>>No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
>>The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
>>
>>
>>Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
>>
>>
>>Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
>>
>>
>>Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to
>>help him get laid.
>>
>>
>>Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.
>>
>>
>>Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
>>
>>
>>White Zinfandel: He's gay
 

NaH2O

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
8,568
ROFL!!! That's a riot - no list for soda drinkers? LOL I'll refrain from answering which drink I prefer (if I wasn't such a light weight), as this may incriminate me. The male addendum wasn't a surprise at all.
 

Scooterman

Administrator
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
10,944
Location
Louisiana
I think I fell into that Whiskey category, more so when I was younger, a few weeks ago or something like that.:rolleyes:
 

Maxx

Staff Housemonkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2003
Messages
2,935
Funny, but pretty close to the truth.
Until recently (Feb of this year) I was a bartender at a large concert nightclub here in the midwest.......you dont wanna know what bartenders can figure out about you inside 5 minutes or less. Actually, the people reading skills I developed as a bartender over the years are pretty invaluable in my new profession....Law Enforcement.
Just a word of advice for those who frequent very busy bars....if the bar is surrounded by people lined up 3 deep and there are only two bartenders or so to handle the thirsty mob....your girlfriend/boyfriend/date/aquaintence/whatever really does NOT need a flying frozen grasshopper/strawberry daquiri/pina colada, or some other fruity complicated drink that will take up LOTS of the bartenders valuable time. Beer, wine, simple mixed drinks, (rum and coke, vodka/tonic, etc), or shots is what you want to be ordering......unless you suddenly want to become invisible where the bartender is concerned....
This was a pet peeve of mine when 12 people would order 2 Cosmo's, 3 daiquiri's, 2 white russians, a brandy alexander, and anything else that took up all of my time.....If they'd just all gotten the smae thing, no big deal. As it was......make drink, wash mixing tin. make another drink, wash mixing tin, make a drink, wash tin...lather, rinse, repeat......cheap tip, (one dollar on 45 dollar tab.....) = one disgruntled bartender, and a group of now invisible thirsty high maintenance people...cause I wasnt gonna "see" them again!
Nick
 
Last edited:

Maxx

Staff Housemonkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2003
Messages
2,935
mattseattle said:
White Zinfandel: He's gay - and no respectable gay man would order a Zinfandel at a bar.
Too true Matt......
Usually the gay customers were the best tippers, and the least trouble...little drama sometimes...but they were generally very polite, well mannered and understood bar ettiquette.
Nick
 

Macbeth417

Reef Monkey
Joined
Oct 18, 2003
Messages
563
Location
Seattle, WA
"Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid."

Welp I'm a whiskey man.... (takes sip of his JW) and they are pretty close. But it's really "He doesn't give a damn about anything but his whiskey and getting laid would be good too"

-Erik

-Erik
 

Witfull

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
647
Location
New Jersey
as a whiskey man also...i must add....if the prospects of getting laid are slim,,,have a few more drinks and get laid out on the floor!
 
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